Can I Change My Mind About Adoption in Virginia?

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Disclaimer: Please note that Family Life Services does not encourage the use of terms like “give a baby up for adoption” or “put up a baby for adoption". However, we understand that expectant mothers may use these terms to find adoption agencies and information. For the purpose of connecting with pregnant women who may desire adoption counseling, we have used these terms in strategic places of our blog and website. We recognize that words matter. We typically use the language “place a child for adoption” or “make an adoption plan".

As an expectant mother considering adoption, you likely have questions about your ability to change your mind. Having a clear understanding of your legal rights and the relevant timelines in Virginia is essential as you navigate this significant life choice. 

Here's what Virginia residents should understand about their rights to alter an adoption plan.

Your Rights Regarding Adoption Consent

Before your baby arrives and prior to signing the Permanent Entrustment Agreement, you maintain full authority to change your decision. This means you can adjust any aspect of the adoption arrangement, select different prospective parents, or choose to raise your child yourself. Making any of these changes carries no legal penalties.

Signing consent paperwork following your child's birth constitutes a binding legal action. Through this process, you formally transfer your parental authority to the prospective adoptive family.

Virginia's adoption laws ensure that your consent meets these standards:

• You receive complete information about your legal rights

• Your decision is made freely without manipulation or pressure

• The consent occurs only after delivery

• Proper witnesses are present as required by Virginia statute

Virginia's Timeframe for Reconsidering Adoption

Following your baby's birth, you'll execute the Permanent Entrustment Agreement, which ends your parental rights.[1]

Virginia law provides you with 7 to 10 days following the execution of this agreement to reconsider and withdraw your consent.[2]

Reversing an Adoption After Providing Consent

Generally, adoption becomes permanent once you've signed the necessary documents and the revocation period has passed. That said, consent may be withdrawn if a court determines it was secured through fraud  or coercion.[2]

Should you have been deceived, intimidated, or felt forced into providing consent, consult with your adoption lawyer. Although establishing such claims presents challenges, valid cases can succeed.

Experiencing Uncertainty?

If adoption is on your mind but you're uncertain, or you've begun the process but are questioning your choice:

• Reach out immediately. Connect with your caseworker or attorney to talk about your concerns.

• Allow yourself time. If consent documents remain unsigned, give yourself space to reflect on your preferences until you feel ready to move forward with a parenting or adoption plan.

• Consider all possibilities. Evaluate whether available resources or support networks could enable you to parent.

• Know your deadlines. Be clear about the exact timeframe you have for your final choice.

• Listen to yourself. This choice belongs to you, and you deserve to feel confident about it.

The Permanence of Adoption

We support your right to choose what's best for both you and your baby, but transparency is important. After providing consent, adoption becomes a permanent arrangement. This permanence serves to protect everyone involved, particularly your child, who needs consistency and security.

Virginia's stringent revocation regulations exist to avoid extended uncertainty for adoptive families and children. After consent becomes final, courts maintain very high standards for adoption reversal.

Proceeding with Certainty

Whether you're in the early stages of considering adoption or nearing the consent signing date, knowing your rights is critical.

For questions about modifying your adoption plan or to discuss your particular circumstances, reach out to [center_name]. We're committed to supporting expectant mothers throughout their adoption journeys. We’re here to ensure you have comprehensive information to make the right decision for yourself and your baby.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can I change my mind about adoption before the baby is born?

Yes. Virginia law permits you to reconsider your adoption decision at any time prior to birth. You should receive adoption counseling that is free from any pressure, obligation, or coercion.

Choosing to parent rather than place for adoption carries no legal consequences, regardless of your prior involvement with an adoption agency or adoptive family during your pregnancy.

Can the adoptive parents do anything to stop me from revoking consent during the revocation period?

No. Within the legally designated revocation period, you possess the right to reconsider for any reason whatsoever. This right cannot be blocked by anyone unless Child Protective Services is involved.

Does paying for my living expenses obligate me to consent to the adoption?

No. Legally permitted financial support never creates an obligation to proceed with adoption.  You should never be offered any financial compensation in exchange for placing a child for adoption.

Sources

1. § 63.2-903. Entrustment agreements; adoption. Virginia State Legislative Information System. (n.d.). https://law.lis.virginia.gov/vacode/title63.2/chapter9/section63.2-903/ 

2. Child Welfare Information Gateway. (2021, October). Consent to Adoption - Virginia. https://www.childwelfare.gov/resources/consent-adoption-virginia/ 

How to Give a Baby Up for Adoption in Virginia

Disclaimer: Please note that Family Life Services does not encourage the use of terms like “give a baby up for adoption” or “put up a baby for adoption". However, we understand that expectant mothers may use these terms to find adoption agencies and information. For the purpose of connecting with pregnant women who may desire adoption counseling, we have used these terms in strategic places of our blog and website. We recognize that words matter. We typically use the language “place a child for adoption” or “make an adoption plan".

Deciding to place a baby for adoption is one of the most difficult choices you’ll ever make. It’s a decision rooted in love, courage, and hope for your child’s future. 

If you are thinking about adoption in Virginia, understanding your rights can help you feel more confident in your decision. This guide explores your rights, state adoption laws, and how you can get the support you need on your adoption journey. Keep reading to learn more.

What are My Rights as the Birth Mother?

Virginia adoption law ensures you have time, support, and autonomy in making this important decision. 

You Have the Right to Choose the Adoptive Family

You have the right to choose the adoptive family. Whether through an agency or an attorney, you can review profiles, meet potential parents, and select a family that aligns with your hopes for your baby’s future. 

Want a family that shares your values, faith, or culture? You can prioritize that. Virginia’s adoption process puts you in the driver’s seat, letting you shape your child’s story even after placement.

You Have the Right to Change Your Mind About the Adoption

Before the child is born, you can back out of the adoption at any time, for any reason. After the child is born, you will sign the Permanent Entrustment Agreement. This document terminates your parental rights.[1]

However, you will have 7 to 10 days after signing the Permanent Entrustment Agreement to revoke your consent.[2] This allows you to recover physically and emotionally and gives you time to decide if you’d like to change your mind. 

What are the Birth Father’s Rights in Adoption?

The birth father’s rights depend on his legal status. If you’re married, your husband is presumed to be the legal father, and he is required to consent to the adoption. If his location is unknown, he will have to be notified of the adoption either by personal service or publication.[2] 

An unmarried father is called a putative father. He must register with the Virginia Birth Father Registry. This will help protect any legal parental rights he may have to the child. If he does not register with the Birth Father Registry, he may not receive notice of the adoption.[4]

You are required to provide all known information about the putative father to your caseworker or provide information to explain the situation fully if his identity and/or whereabouts is unknown. Your adoption agency and their attorney will take care of notifying him or proving he’s not involved, keeping the process smooth and legal.

Do You Get Financial Support for Adoption?

Pregnancy can bring financial strain. Thankfully, Virginia law allows adoption agencies to help with certain expenses, easing your burden, if they legally qualify for financial assistance. Your caseworker should be able to connect you with community resources that may be available to meet your needs, regardless of whether you choose parenting or adoption.

If you are actively making an adoption plan, you may receive financial support for[3]:

• Medical expenses that are directly related to pregnancy and hospitalization

• Mental health counseling for the birth mother and birth father

• Reasonable and necessary costs for food, clothing, and shelter when the birth mother cannot work because of her pregnancy

• Reimbursement for expenses incurred incident to any court appearance, including, but not limited to, food, lodging, and transportation

• Fees for legal services

• Transportation to any of the services provided

This support is not “payment” for your baby. The court regulates these provisions to ensure you receive appropriate care throughout your pregnancy and the adoption process. 

Adoptive parents and adoption agencies cannot provide funds for non-essential items or undocumented cash payments. If anything seems unclear or inappropriate, speak to an independent lawyer to get clarification. 

How Does the Adoption Process Work in Virginia?

Here’s how placing a baby for adoption in Virginia typically goes:

1. Contact an Adoption Agency

Start by reaching out to a licensed Virginia adoption agency, like Family Life Services. Reaching out to us is not an automatic agreement to make an adoption plan. We are here to explain your options, answer your questions, and help you decide whether or not adoption is right for you and your baby.

2. Create an Adoption Plan

If you decide to move forward with adoption, we'll work together to develop a personalized plan that reflects your preferences—from selecting the adoptive family, to determining the level of ongoing contact after placement, and identifying the support you need.

3. Consent to the Adoption

After the child is born, you will sign the Permanent Entrustment Agreement. You will then have 7 days from the signing of this agreement and until the baby is 10 days old to revoke your consent if you change your mind.

4. Begin Post-placement Support

If you do not change your mind about the adoption, your baby will be placed with your chosen  adoptive family in an adoption placement, and any agreed-upon contact begins. You’ll also receive post-placement support as you adjust.

Staying Connected With Your Child After Placement

You might wonder what life will look like after the adoption has been finalized. Today, most infant adoptions are open or have some degree of contact after placement. This means that you can continue to have contact with the adoptive family and your child after the adoption is finalized. This could include photos, phone calls, emails, texts, and visits, depending on what you’re comfortable with. 

You’ll work with the adoptive parents and adoption professionals to set post-adoption expectations. A good adoption agency will honor your wishes while putting your child’s well-being first.

We’re Here to Help

Placing your baby for adoption isn’t “giving up”—it’s giving your child a future you’ve thoughtfully chosen. Virginia’s laws protect your rights, ensuring you’re not rushed, coerced, or left in the dark. Knowing the law empowers you to make the best decision for yourself and your child.

As an Expectant Mother considering placing a baby for adoption in Virginia, you hold the power to shape this journey. The law gives you time to decide, options for support, and a voice in your baby’s future. 

If you’re unsure where to start, reach out to Family Life Services. We will listen, not push. Contact us to get started. 

Sources

1. § 63.2-903. Entrustment agreements; adoption. Virginia State Legislative Information System. (n.d.). https://law.lis.virginia.gov/vacode/title63.2/chapter9/section63.2-903/ 

2. Child Welfare Information Gateway. (2021, October). Consent to Adoption - Virginia. https://www.childwelfare.gov/resources/consent-adoption-virginia/   

3. Child Welfare Information Gateway. (2022, May). Regulation of Private Domestic Adoption Expenses - Virginia. https://www.childwelfare.gov/resources/regulation-private-domestic-adoption-expenses-virginia/ 

4. Virginia Birth Father Registry. Virginia Department of Social Services. (n.d.). https://www.dss.virginia.gov/family/ap/vbfr.cgi 

Adoption Questions You Need Answers To

Disclaimer: Please note that Family Life Services does not encourage the use of terms like “give a baby up for adoption” or “put up a baby for adoption". However, we understand that expectant mothers may use these terms to find adoption agencies and information. For the purpose of connecting with pregnant women who may desire adoption counseling, we have used these terms in strategic places of our blog and website. We recognize that words matter. We typically use the language “place a child for adoption” or “make an adoption plan".

If you're thinking about adoption for your baby, you probably have countless questions running through your mind. Some of these questions might feel difficult to voice—maybe they seem too personal, too complicated, or you worry about what others might think if you ask them.

The reality is this: when you're making an adoption plan, no question is off-limits. Every concern you have matters and deserves a thoughtful response. 

At Family Life Services, our team has supported hundreds of expectant mothers through this process. We've been asked every question imaginable, and we recognize that raising these difficult questions actually reflects the depth of your love and your commitment to doing what's best for both your child and yourself.

Let's address some of the adoption questions that expectant mothers need answers to.

"Am I selfish for considering adoption? Does it mean I'm a bad mom?"

This concern sits heavy in the hearts of many women facing this decision, and it's frequently the most difficult one to articulate. Let us be clear: making an adoption plan does not make you a bad mother. Not even close. It actually shows tremendous love and courage.

What defines a good mother is prioritizing your child's wellbeing, even when the path forward is painful. It involves honestly assessing your situation and making choices that center on what your child needs rather than simply what you want. There are many ways to be a good mother. Some mothers make the choice to place their children with adoptive families who will parent them.

You may also be wondering: "Will my child believe I didn't care about them?" The answer is no. Through open adoption, you have the opportunity to share your journey with your child throughout their life. Your love can remain a presence in their world, even if someone else is raising them. Selecting adoptive parents who will speak respectfully about you and maintain open, honest conversations about adoption with your child is an essential part of the process.

"Can I see my child after the adoption is finalized?"

This ranks among the most crucial questions to ask, and here's the answer: it depends entirely on your wishes and what you and the adoptive parents establish together. This is where open adoption becomes a key component of your planning.

Open adoption arrangements vary widely between families. For some birth and adoptive families, this means frequent visits, phone conversations, emails, and an active relationship where the child knows you as their birth mother. For others, it might involve annual photo exchanges and written updates. The degree of contact is something you'll determine collaboratively with the adoptive family before the placement occurs.

Successful open adoption relationships are founded on mutual respect, transparent communication, and practical expectations. While numerous adoptive families welcome open adoption arrangements, the specific details need to be candidly discussed beforehand. At Family Life Services, we guide these discussions to ensure everyone has clear, shared understanding.

"What are my legal rights? Can I reconsider?"

Yes, and understanding your legal rights is absolutely essential. Consent and revocation laws differ by state. In Virginia, you maintain the legal right to reconsider your decision until the revocation period concludes, which generally occurs when the baby reaches ten days old and a minimum of seven days have elapsed since you signed the consent paperwork.

At Family Life Services, we never want you to feel hurried or pressured into anything. This is your choice to make, and you deserve complete information and freedom from coercion. If uncertainty arises at any stage, please voice it. Your adoption caseworker is there to help you work through those emotions, not to pressure you toward a decision you're not comfortable with.

"How can I manage pregnancy expenses?"

This is a legitimate, practical concern, and you should never feel uncomfortable raising it. Pregnancy involves substantial costs: healthcare, lost work time, maternity wear, prenatal supplements, and other expenses. If financial pressure is contributing to your consideration of adoption, you need to know what assistance exists. Our agency works to help locate resources to support your needs throughout pregnancy, whether you ultimately choose to parent or place your child for adoption.

Under certain conditions, adoptive families and agencies are legally allowed to help with pregnancy-related, reasonable living expenses as permitted under Virginia law. This requires documentation from a physician confirming that the expectant mother cannot work due to her pregnancy. Allowable expenses may include:

• Medical costs not covered by Medicaid or insurance

• Maternity clothing

• Essential living expenses during pregnancy

These are not payments for your baby. This is assistance to support you through your pregnancy while you're creating an adoption plan.

"Will my child understand why I chose adoption?"

This question gets to the core of what many expectant mothers fear most: that their child will grow up feeling rejected or unwanted. Open adoption creates opportunities for your child to learn your story, understand the circumstances surrounding their adoption, and witness your love expressed through the decision you made.

Children who are given age-appropriate adoption information typically maintain connections with their birth families and develop healthy perspectives on adoption. They come to understand that adoption involves complexity, that love takes different forms, and that being placed for adoption was rooted in love, not abandonment.

Your caseworker can assist you in considering how to preserve a relationship with your child that enables them to know you and understand your intentions.

"What happens if I regret my choice later?"

Grief and regret are distinct experiences, though they can sometimes feel alike. Experiencing grief after placing your child is normal and expected. Grief is your heart's response to loss. Even when you've made what you believe is the best decision, the pain can be profound.

Regret is different. It's the feeling that you should have chosen differently. While some birth mothers do feel regret, many discover that despite their grief, they feel at peace with their choice. They're able to hold both realities simultaneously: this was the right decision, and it still causes deep pain.

What reduces the likelihood of regret is making a fully informed choice with adequate support. This is why counseling matters so much, both before and after placement. Working through your emotions, examining your reasons, and developing realistic expectations about life following placement all contribute to lasting peace with your decision. We work with a local counseling practice that has adoption-competent therapists available to provide grief and loss support after adoption, should you wish to process these feelings with a professional.

Adoption Support for Expectant Mothers in Virginia

At Family Life Services, we're committed to the principle that informed decisions are empowered decisions. You should never hesitate to ask questions, regardless of how challenging or sensitive they may be. Our mission is to give you honest answers and to stand with you throughout your entire adoption experience.

If you’re considering adoption but feel afraid to ask hard questions, we encourage you to contact us. You'll find no judgment here—only support, compassion, and dedication to helping you make the choice that's right for you and your baby.