How Does Adoption Work for Adoptive Parents?

Your adoption journey begins with a simple yet important first step: submitting a pre-application to Family Life Services. This initial form helps us get to know your family and allows us to determine whether you meet the basic eligibility requirements for our Domestic Infant Adoption Program.

You'll provide basic information about your family, your motivation for adoption, and your readiness to begin this process. Once we review your submission, we'll reach out with guidance on next steps and provide you with the opportunity to request our full program requirements. This is also a great time to ask any initial questions you may have about the process, timeline, or what to expect.

Think of this step as opening the door to conversation. There's no commitment yet—just an opportunity to explore whether Family Life Services is the right fit for your family's adoption journey.

After your pre-application is approved, you'll move forward with completing a comprehensive application. This is where you'll provide detailed information about your family background, your home environment, your marriage, and your readiness to welcome a child through adoption.

The full application requires thoughtful reflection and honesty. You'll answer questions about your parenting philosophy, your support system, your financial stability, and how you envision building a relationship with your child's birth family. While the application may feel extensive, each question serves an important purpose in helping us understand your unique story and prepare you for the journey ahead.

Along with your completed application, you'll submit the application fee. This is your first financial commitment in the adoption process, and it helps cover the administrative costs of reviewing your application and establishing your file. We understand that adoption involves significant financial investment, and we're committed to being transparent about all costs throughout your journey with us.

The home study is a required assessment for all adoptive families, mandated by Virginia state law and designed to ensure that children are placed in safe, loving, and prepared homes. We strive to make this process as friendly, educational, and supportive as possible. If you do not live in Virginia, you would contract a licensed adoption agency in your state of residence to complete this assessment, which is required in every state for adoption.

If you live in Virginia, we require families to have a home study completed by our agency.  An FLS home study typically takes 6-12 weeks to complete from start to finish. During this time, you'll meet with one of our caseworkers for a minimum of three in-person meetings. These meetings serve multiple purposes: 

• They give us an opportunity to get to know you and your family on a deeper level, 

• They allow us to evaluate your home environment and ensure it meets safety standards

• They provide valuable time for us to prepare you for the realities and joys of being an adoptive parent

The home study process includes individual questions, joint interviews with you and your spouse, at least one home visit where we'll walk through your living space, background checks, references, and a review of your financial and medical information. You'll also complete required paperwork and receive pre-adoption training on topics like attachment, trauma-informed parenting, and open adoption.

While detailed and thorough, the home study isn't meant to be a test you pass or fail. Instead, think of it as an educational experience that helps you grow in your understanding of adoption and prepares you to be the best possible parents for your future child while evaluating all factors to determine if this is a safe home in which to place a child. Our caseworkers are here to support you, answer your questions, and help you feel confident as you launch forward on your adoption journey.

Step 3 and 4 are interchangeable. You may choose to complete the home study prior to or following the in-person Adoption Training Weekend for new families onboarding with our program.

Education is a cornerstone of successful adoption, which is why all families in our program are required to attend a comprehensive training weekend. This intensive experience is designed to equip you with essential knowledge, practical tools, and a deeper understanding of the adoption landscape.

During the training weekend, you'll explore a range of critical topics including: 

• Understanding birth parent perspectives and the courage it takes to make an adoption plan 

• Navigating open adoption relationships and ongoing communication

• Preparing for the unique joys and challenges of adoptive parenting

• Discussing race, culture, and identity in adoption

• Understanding attachment and bonding with your child

• Trauma-informed parenting approaches

You'll hear from experienced adoptive parents, birth parents who have made adoption plans, and adoption professionals who bring years of expertise to the table. These diverse perspectives will help you develop empathy, gain practical insights, and build a strong foundation for your growing family.

The training weekend is more than just a requirement—it's an investment in your family's future. Many families describe this experience as eye-opening, transformative, and deeply valuable as they prepare to welcome a child into their home. You'll leave with a clearer understanding of what lies ahead and a network of other adoptive families who are walking this journey alongside you. There is no obligation to join our program, after attending the Adoption Training Weekend.  If you decide that adoption is not right for your family, our agency is not a good fit for you, or the timing is not right to move forward, you can discontinue the adoption process at any time.

Once your home study is complete and you've attended training, it's time to prepare the materials that will introduce your family to expectant parents considering adoption. This step involves two key components: completing all required documentation and creating your photo profile book.

The required paperwork includes various legal documents, medical forms, financial statements, and other materials that demonstrate your eligibility for placement. Your caseworker will provide you with a detailed checklist and guide you through each document to ensure everything is complete and accurate.

Your photo profile book is perhaps the most personal and important element of this step. This album tells your family's story in an authentic, heartfelt way. Through carefully chosen photographs and thoughtfully written narrative, you'll give expectant parents a window into your home, your values, your daily life, and the future you hope to share with a child.

You'll want to be genuine and real—showing who you truly are rather than creating an idealized version of your life. Include photos that capture the warmth of your home, your relationships with extended family, your hobbies and interests, your community and faith life, and the love you have to offer a child. Your written content should be sincere, warm, and respectful of the difficult decision an expectant parent is facing.

Many families find it helpful to work with friends, family members, or professional photographers to ensure their book is polished. Your caseworker will also review your profile and provide feedback to help you create the strongest possible presentation. 

Once your profile is complete and active, you enter what many families describe as the most challenging phase of the adoption journey: the waiting period. This is when expectant parents who are making an adoption plan will review family albums from approved families and select the family they feel is the best fit for their child.

It's important to understand that wait times vary significantly from family to family. Some families match within just a few months, while others wait one to two years or longer. At Family Life Services, we place an average of 4-6 infants annually, and we commit to working with your family for up to three years from the time your profile becomes active.

Several factors can influence wait time, including the preferences of expectant parents (some may be looking for specific family characteristics, geographic location, or openness to certain types of communication), the number of families currently waiting in our program, timing and circumstances beyond anyone's control, and your own preferences regarding the level of openness or specific situations you're comfortable with.

During the waiting period, we encourage families to stay engaged with our agency, continue living your life fully rather than putting everything on hold, maintain realistic expectations while staying hopeful, and lean on your support system and the community of other waiting families.

When an expectant parent selects your family, we'll contact you to share the exciting news and provide information about the situation. You'll have the opportunity to review all available information, ask questions, and decide whether you feel this is the right match for your family. Remember, you always have the right to say no to a situation that doesn't feel right—adoption should be a confident yes for everyone involved. However, we try to help families determine what they are open to, ahead of time, so that matches can move forward successfully once they are made.

When an expectant parent selects your family, the relationship-building process begins. You'll have the opportunity to meet the expectant parent(s) and start building a connection before the baby's birth, if they desire this contact. Some families exchange phone calls, text messages, or emails, while others meet in person. The level and type of contact will depend on what feels comfortable for both parties and what you've mutually agreed upon.

As the due date approaches, you'll make plans for the birth and placement. Depending on your mutual agreement and the expectant parent's wishes, you may be invited to be present at the hospital during or after the birth. This can be an incredibly meaningful experience, but it's also deeply emotional for everyone involved. Our staff will help facilitate these interactions and provide support during this sacred time.

There are two primary types of placement scenarios you should understand. An at-risk placement occurs when the baby is placed directly with you from the hospital, before parental rights have been legally terminated. Virginia law requires a minimum waiting period of ten days after birth for a potential birth mother to change her mind about the adoption placement. During this time, the birth parent retains full legal rights and can make a parenting plan at any time. While this can feel uncertain, many families choose this option because it allows them to bond with the baby from birth and honors the birth parent's desire for them to care for the child immediately.

Alternatively, transitional foster care placement occurs when the baby is placed in licensed foster care until the birth parent's rights are legally terminated, which typically happens when the baby is at least ten days old. Our agency only uses foster homes which are approved specifically by our agency to care for newborns for Family Life Services. They are committed to caring for babies, during this transitional time, to provide prospective birth parents with the time and space needed to solidify the best permanent plan for the child. 

Once consent is finalized, the baby is then placed with you. While this means you won't have those first days with your child, it can provide more legal security and peace of mind during a vulnerable time.

Your caseworker will discuss both options with you and help you understand the benefits and challenges of each. There's no right or wrong choice—what matters is finding the path that feels best for your family and honors the birth parent's wishes. Because our program is designed to provide choices and options to potential birth parents, this conversation typically originates with the birth mother’s wishes and we help to find a family that aligns with her wishes.

Whenever placement day occurs, it marks a momentous milestone in your adoption journey. It's the day you finally become parents and begin your life together as a family.

The final legal step in your adoption journey is finalization, which typically occurs 6-12 months after placement. During this post-placement period, our caseworkers will conduct required supervisory visits to your home. These visits are designed to ensure that your child is thriving, that you're adjusting well to parenthood, and that you have the support and resources you need during this transition.

Most families find the post-placement visits to be positive experiences. Your caseworker will observe your interactions with your child, ask about how things are going, discuss any challenges you're facing, and provide guidance and encouragement. These visits are also documented in reports that will be submitted to the court as part of your finalization proceedings.

When the post-placement period is complete, Family Life Services will prepare all necessary finalization documents. We partner with trusted Virginia attorneys who specialize in adoption law to guide you through the court process. Your attorney will file a petition with the Virginia courts, requesting that the adoption be legally finalized.

The finalization hearing involves having a judge review your case and issue a final order of adoption. This legal process makes your child officially and permanently part of your family. In Virginia, an agency adoption does not require a court appearance by the adopting family for finalization. 

Once the finalization order is issued, you'll receive a new birth certificate for your child with your names listed as parents. This document is an important legal record that your child will use throughout their life. The original birth certificate, with the birth parents' names, will be sealed by the court but may be able to be accessed by your child when they reach adulthood, depending on Virginia law at that time.

Finalization represents the end of the legal adoption process, but it's really just the beginning of your lifelong journey as an adoptive family. At Family Life Services, we remain a resource and support for you long after finalization, offering post-adoption services, connections to the adoptive family community, and ongoing guidance as your family grows and navigates the unique joys and complexities of adoption.